i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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