I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
