just tell him i said nine months
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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