and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
