I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
