My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
