Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So many bounce houses so little time
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
