I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
