Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
