Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
