I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
