Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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