is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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