matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
