My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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