Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
