how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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