Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
