Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
