I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
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I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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