remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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