question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
