Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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