Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
