do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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