I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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