dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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