Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
