We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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