Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
