so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
