"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
