i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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