After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I look better un-naked...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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