Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the day after is always just damage control
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
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I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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