Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
