I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
