I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize
