Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
