M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
