We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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