dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
