All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Let's get the cat blown out
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
