the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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