Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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