is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
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Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
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I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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