party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
