I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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