STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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