On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
These tits shall not be calmed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
