My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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