If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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