u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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