okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
