Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
